Space - Part2

I can hear my heart beat fast enough to challenge the fastest person,

I remember without any pointer I just ran out from the room

and occupied the corner most place of the area

A chill ran into my body 

leaving me shivering,

I can feel the sweat glands working faster than normal

I gulped and tried to hold my hand and stop shivering

I found myself standing in the darkest place

of this universe, Where it's just me and my loneliness

He tried to harm me twice and I am sure, again he will.

This thought is disturbing me 

and I am trying to figure out the way to win over him

whenever I gain strength to think about how to fight back

I end up with a question mark?

Space- Part 1

When I am alone I look at the sky

I try to figure out the beginning and ending point

But every time end up in a never-ending space

Space which is ready to be explored

Space where there is no explanation

A place where I can be just me

I hold a brush in my hand

& think of the worst scenario 

After a few minutes, I realized 

I am already in my worst scenario

Suddenly a wave of fear ran in my body

The brush slipped off my hand

and I left the space . . . . .

Expectations

It is a barbarian with a black mask
It will come with the hide tide
And snuff out each and everything,
On its way just like a shrimp piece of paper

It not only snides you
but every individual associated with you
It will never give warning before thumping the door
It will chip in silently just like a thief

The scars will not be visible
But they will be permanent
The sunk scars are within you
Which will never retrieve in life

    

Yes We Can Understand

"Yes we Can Understand"

This is the most deadly and powerful context in each and every individual's life in this universe. "Yes I can understand " " Yes I understood" " Yes I will do " " I hope you are understanding"

No matter what, but we are expected to keep our mind broad, when I say broad and open-minded it has only one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

We are expected to be mature, when I say mature it has one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

We are expected to be perfect, when I say perfect it has one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

We are expected to have patience at an extreme level but when we ask " what is the level of patience"
we get just one answer " Please try to understand"

We are expected to be the perfect material as son, daughter, son in law, daughter in law, wife, husband, and the list is long, when I say perfect material it has one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

We are expected to be the only intelligent person when it comes to facing people, to understand people, to handle situations, to answer back, to get the ability of decision making but , this expectation has just one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

We are expected to be an all-rounder in terms of handling relationships , when I say handling relationships it has one strong meaning ignore & please try to understand.

It's ok we assure we can understand. 

One Day At Local Bus

Its 7:00 A.M

I opened my eye,as my eye went on the clock “Shit!! Its 7:00” my entire sleep ran away at the same speed as a robber runs after stealing an ornament.

I rushed and get ready just like a superman oops! I mean superwoman and reached bus stop.I want to have a new local travelling experience ,which compelled me to take a local morning bus at this jam packed city. 

Within fraction of seconds I am inside this box with wheels with limited seats ,extra people are standing with eagle eye ready to snatch an empty seat without letting the prey go offsite.

I stood for almost 10 minutes seeing people uploading and downloading but there is this man in khakhi colour outfit no matter in which space of this box he is standing, he will immediately observe this process ,make his way out of the crowd with not even an inch to move and ask for ticket. Seriously this requires concentration with senses working every minute to check footfall in the bus if missed money will be gone.

There are two sections inside bus woman and Men and khahki gentleman stands in between like a wall to make sure that men are not entering the women zone.Finally after standing for almost 10 minutes I have my reward in front of me my seat but to reach there I have to be a warrior who has to pass all the hurdles on way (Indeed way is just 4 steps away) bags, people, no space, shouting

So finally after saying sorry every second and pushing people aside I reached .15 women are standing in front of me (space is only for maybe 10 people )holding pipes to avoid falling but still on every break every single person in this bus fall on each other inspite of no space.Some people are hanging on doors , while some are sandwich and others who are sitting are takings bags or butts of standing people on their face with a hope that fellow should not fart at the moment.

School children , workers , old age , young people, ladies with lot of bags, husband shielding wife and baby from crowd , men bashing on each other, people hanging like clothes on doors , sometimes even feet are not touching ground just hanging on air, inside smell , outside smell , somebody talking on phone loud enough to advertise his conversation, struggling to make way out of bus, people are sitting and standing with headsets murmuring songs , some sleepy heads , some extreme active mode.. but …..

Everyone is rushing to reach their destinations despite upset mind, fresh mind,sad face, happy face, tensed face, angry face but they are running 

keeping all emotions and problems aside….

Mistakes- A Part of Life

Life is box filled with stories

We all write our own story

But realise very late what is right and wrong

After doing an act we calculate and land to a answer but its late to enter that ans as time is already up

Some mistakes can be covered

Some can be adjusted

Some can be reiterated

Some can be improvised

While some can be forgotten

But at the end its a mistake

The mistakes done unintentionally wearing a blindfold in the name of some random fantasy world are the most painful yet most practical to drop down one layer of protected shield, as its just the introduction of the brutal world.

A world where survival is all that matters .No matter how but the only thing that everyone is running after is 'Survival'

With age we can rectify our mistakes or try to rectify .Some fades away with time ,while some still carve inside asking the question Why? How? But standing at this stage we don't have answer for any question because we also know that whatever is happening at present has the source from the past which we created

So sitting in one room , we will try to figure out and ask oneself ' So I can't carry this my whole life! So what is the solution?'

'What next?'

While busy selecting a solution and entangled in our thoughts we will not realise that how far we have come from that mistake probably a distance where it's existence is negligible.........

Phase II. Post marriage

So this is October

I guess 7 months are over now.. And I believe this is the correct time to define Phase II or Post marraige scenario.

I remember the next day at my new home . New people New home Alienated daughter (for now ), thank god not sister (Eventually) but a well embraced wife , daughter in law, sister in law and last but not the least aunt as well.

In one day so many additional relationships in my dictionary even though I am scared but at the same time I am anxious.

Now rituals are started Seriously I have no idea what that uncle half nude (pandit ji) is blabbering I am trying to catch his lips to know what he is saying Is it sanskrit or Hindi? or French , German  but then I realised this language is special ,exclusively made by pandit ji's.

Anyways I am hungry dude ...

Finally after that puja which is basically a story , I can have food ...
I am waiting for food I heard some doorsteps Oh! finally my food is here but wait, my all dreams are shattered (for now). It is some aunty who has come suddenly embraced me for few minutes I was not able to realise what is going on??
OH!! she has come to see new bride and giving bribe ( gift)

It is dark now but still the showcase of bride is not yet over but inside I am enjoying this maybe because nevertheless after sometime I will become old  .....

Eventually a new bride has to experience not in just terms of new relations but with rituals , understanding people, improvising habits, commencing own decisions

Maybe the best part of the day , while having dinner all the family members are waiting for me why??so that we all together can start dinner (Indeed a small thing to imagine but leaves a huge impact behind) or a long term investment I can say....



                                             A new bride is not just a bride
                                     she is an anchor between two families
           A new bride is not just for showcase she enters the house with responsibilities
                                            to make home a better place
                             She enters the door with new dreams , decisions,
                     leaving behind one life and reborn again to start a new life

                                                           

Phase1 A bride's Heart- For Parents

One day , one evening , one moment , one second which will make you feel you don't belong here, you don't belong to them , they 'were' not 'are' the most crucial part of your life. I can feel scrabble in my voice

"om mangalam bhagvan.................." I can hear these enchanting continuously while other people around me are busy in chatting and some of them are looking at me and murmuring I wonder what they talking about me or "us" or my family or my makeup or my dress bla bla bla...

Suddenly my eyes stopped at one point where my parents are sitting and watching me with a smile but I can see their eyes are filled with tears ready to flow anytime , I can feel the tide of immense sadness which they are hiding with that 0.5 mm smile...

I am helpless sitting in that position I cant even smile because I know that will not change anything.

While watching the hawan kundh I can feel that fire within me of all the mistakes, I hurt them , I teased , I shared with them but I know this will never going to happen again .

Yes! something will change from inside which is unsaid but we all three know it..

Hundreds of people thousand of eyes but there is someone who is happy but breaking from inside. .While standing like a statue in that stage wearing an expensive dress with all makeup on and most important for every hour keeping a smile on face but still fighting every tear from inside I don't think so anyone in the crowd will notice this in my eyes.

Time is running very fast tick tock tick tock " oh its 3:00 A.M !!  " finally just 2 more hours to go when I will be called only DAUGHTER AND SISTER.. 

While standing near car i looked around everyone is crying she is red as tomato with swollen eyes but still tears in her eyes

I can feel now I will have to think twice before sharing anything with her indeed she is the one whose heartbeat is related with me...

I can feel now I will have to think twice before sharing anything with him indeed he stood like a wall in front of me

I can feel now I will not fight with him again the same way a day before.

Every time if i will take one step I will have to come 5 steps down put a smile and conflict with my mind "Plz they are the one "  
Mind- "but from now its only YOU"

That single thought.......

Finally the time has come when I will not go home again as their only daughter

Finally the time has come when there will be a transparent line between us

Finally we are standing on opposite sides......

A new life is waiting for me 

A new person has held my hand , my father gave my hand in his hand and said with tears " She is my doll" ........

                                                       with no choice

                                                           and then

                                                 I left everything behind 

Two ways

                                                               TWO WAYS


Sometimes in life we do the things that are just way to go. There are always two paths in front of you ,and the fact is you have to walk on both the paths some or the other day but at the right time. In case if you will enter the path before the time no dbout you will have to return back to the begning and start again all the things.

Even after chosing when you realize that actualy the decision was a hasty one there is noting left except for the fact oh freek! I wanted to be in that moment again and get the things done right but as it is said time and tide wait for none so do your, actions.

"Believe" is the most iportant ingredient for any action to take place and acquire the thing. Believe and fear cant go hand in hand for the fact where there is believe there is no place for fear . Once you wll start believing your fear will no more live with you. So before chosing any path just keep in mind that believe in yourself before stepping into any one of them and then forget about the end just believe in yourself and move forward most wore outcome can be and infact will be that you will have to start the things all over again as said above but as the more you will remain calm the more you will learn the things and implement it.

Every action teach you something or the other and if you have learnt the things previously you will not repeat the things again or even if you will repeat the damage will not be that high..
Whatever you will get on the way it is your decision what to keep and what to leave behind but once you get something never forget that this is one of the most prized possession of your life and you cant just le it go easily, at the end believe is something which will make you realize from time to time this is the thing I waited for............

Pre marriage status

I still remember the first day of this scenario..
Inner side: dude! This dress it so damm heavy.. I am decorated like a barbie doll with all sort of wands, shoes that pink dress bla bla bla
Outer side: (with a smile) plz have some snacks.
Inner side: I am hungry i want to have this like a lion feasting on his meal.
Outer side: (smile on face) silence!!!! In the room tick tock tick tock..
I can see all the eyes scanning my every expressions(leme remind a smile on face)
My eyes rolling in all four corners of the room as if i am sitting in this room first time.. What a momemt in the same sofa where i almost rolled myself like a cat, right now sitting in just 3/4 part of it.. Well i m wondering this sofa is really huge then
Ohh! Coming back to the day.. Finally a word from persom one, then suddenly as if a crowd of words is running towards me and i am feeling like a gladiator with all weapons and shield come on!!! Yes yes I am ready... But in reality the opposite of this is happening what no rain of questions, no inquiry huffff!! Thank god these tv actress they add more of terrified things..
Finally the hero of this picture utters a word and while sitting some weird thoughts are running in my mind.. Oh i like kabab they are cooked but when will i get those? And suddenly i saw a glimpse of me on mirror oh no! Is this me i am looking like a makeup shop.
But its ok this is what the situation has demanded and (proudly) i have given it to this bird called as situation.
Woieeeeee!! Finally i have defeated u, u over confident situation.
Gurrrrr! Where the hell is my phone, i wanna play my fav game right now....
Suddenly i hear a voice and my thoughts are interupted!! And as i came back whopps! The reality pre marriage

What next??? 

Feelings -simply feelings

Sometimes the pain is so severe that one stop feeling it.
This is the situation when a person become stone, simply numb.

"I loved u " she said ( eyes glittering with tears rolling down the cheeks)

He simply smiled and said " I know" (he wants her , he madly loves her but he cant do anything except for smiling

Oh! Its not a relation , he is a feeling which can not be described in words

(This is not the right time , but i cant get u out of me, its ok this is life ) while she was busy in thinking and fighting with her thoughts suddenly she hear a voice " hey you ready? We are getting late!"

She comes back to real world clear her thoughts,  wear a beautiful smile and walked with a man to his family.

Few years back they took a decision ,which has changed their world
They both wanted to fall apart not coz of pain or some difficulty in their relation but they let each other go with a smile

It has been years now infact more than she can think
Yes! Even Today they both are busy in their own world ,but still there is not a single day when they dont think of each other and smile only with memories.

The only existence is memories just memories.
People fall apart but love always remains fresh like the first snow wrapped in the arms of earth.

Smile

Life is like a heartbeat sometimes up sometimes down but it keeps on running.
Many times there comes a situation when even after knowing the result one feels as if this heart has skipped a beat, no words to speak still 100 of emotions within bouncing back coz you know the person who can only understand ,he is only far from you.

A smile on face , shimmer in eyes , hiding that pain , those tears in eyes, Oh! My lord this is the situation when entire world is happy but still you are the only one left in the crowd. Give me strength give me courage to pass a smile when he will flash in front of me.

He is life , he is breath still he is standing at the other end . I have everything on my hand still i am bound with strong sound. This is a situation when a person has legs but he cant fell , a person has tounge but he cant speak , a person has eyes but he cant see & a person has ears but he canr hear.

Even in the presence of mind , it has stopped working ,I feel the cry which is coming from inside ,I know he has tears even he will cry but I am helpless i cant even wipe . I know eveyrthing still i am in a condition with no body only soul which is already with him .

But at the end
Life is like a heartbeat sometimes up sometimes down but it keeps on running.

You are my dream come true
You are the best of me
You are my happiness
You are me

15 weird things that humans do

We think our self to be very smart and intelligent lets have a look at our smartness :P

1.Looking at a Q-tip after pulling it out of your ear to proudly judge how much wax you swabbed out

2.Wondering what would happen if you punched someone in the face mid-conversation.

3. Liking things that are universally loved, but pretending it’s a unique side of you with OMG sentence“Oh my god ________"

4.Remembering something funny from like two years ago and then laughing hysterically. Then, when you’re trying to make yourself stop laughing, you just end up laughing more.

5.Circling around your apartment whenever you have to talk on the phone.

6.Talking to your pets like they’re little people. “Who’s a good little guy? Is it you? Is it you? Yes it is! What a good little boy!”

7.Pretending you’re in a music video or movie montage when you’ve got your headphones on.

8.Sticking your loose hairs to the walls of the shower and then splashing them off.

9. Touching the plate even when the waiter says it's extremely hot, because you have trust issues and have to see for yourself. 

10.Dancing in elevators, bathroom stalls, basically any small place in which you find yourself alone.

11. Immediately going back and reading an email right after you hit send.

12.Rehearsing arguments again and again in your head, just in case it should ever come up.

13. Apologizing to doors or furniture when you accidentally kick or bump into them.

14. Googling something without thinking and then staring at the search results like “what just happened how did I get here?”

15. Feeling sympathy towards inanimate objects when they're underused or discarded.